GENUFLECT by GORDY GRUNDY
SEPTEMBER 2006, COAGULA ISSUE 82
GUNG HO! HELL, NO!
If I hadn’t grabbed onto the easel, I would have fallen on my ass. Suddenly the rough wood floor in my studio is as slippery as ice. It’s so bad that I can't cross the room without doing a full arm-waving, leg-flying pratfall. Then you add a tray of cocktails and the screwball ramps up a notch.
You see, a new series of art and my big mouth have contributed to a need for major changes in the current lifestyle curriculum. I want to try something tricky. To make the artwork, I’ve gotta be in a top form, both physically and emotionally.
While the work involves many issues, the piece is ultimately about Redemption. This is a subject I prefer to regard through film and literature. I like reading stories of other people’s hardships, struggle and hopeful salvation. Unfortunately, for in this piece, I have to participate in the Redemption. This is in contrast to my current comfort.
For the piece, this lover has got to become a fighter. This introvert has got to shake some hands. This vulnerable waif has got to get some armor. This lazy rascal needs the discipline of a NAVY Seal. That’s why the floor is so slippery. I’m afraid to be all I can be. Or worse, I’ve gotta be what I’m afraid I am not.
The ship is leaving the dock, which is why I am having separation anxiety. The tie lines have been released and thrown onto the deck. The anchor is raised. I have left a steady income to follow a clear yet improbable path. There is no turning back. And in this moment of terror, I am paddling furiously against the current, which is pulling my canoe toward the Niagra of commitment.
Naturally, I have been paddling to oblivion. It’s a fast dance beat.
I know why I am resisting change. The blanket that I had was awfully comfy; I really hate to let that go. Then toss in a fear of failure and one of success. That’s a panicky stew.
I guess terror is a part of the process. The new adventure involves a skill set, which I believe I possess. Nothing on the horizon appears insurmountable. What’s the problem?
The roar of the falls is getting louder as I rush toward the edge. Once I’m over, I can’t resist.
GORDY GRUNDY is a Los Angeles based artist. His current show ’Fortuna: VisionQuest won the People Choice Award for ‘Best Show’ in the San Antonio Contemporary Arts Month. His visual and literary work can be found at www.GordyGrundy.com.