Much to my consternation, the annual New Year Good Intention was interrupted
by a confluence of counter-productive occurrences. Stu Gimlet is back in town
and Los Angeles is going to bend over for Beckham.
New Year began like every other, with the annual ‘Ole Gung-Ho’,
a period of purification and renewal. With a minimum of four weeks (or two) one
can retire their bad habits and focus on the universe at large. Rehab, renewal,
regeneration. Carpe Diem and Tallyho.
Day One: The sun
shines brightly. I can see it through the haze of a dense fog.
Day Two: The birds
in the trees sing a song to blue skies and sunny days. I feel as clean and
fresh as a babbling brook.
Day Three: I drive
to Las Vegas. For a convention. That night, I am invited to a lavish drinking
dinner at the House of Blues’ Foundation Room with a
crew of old cohorts of a very troublesome kind. Chief among them is rascal Stu
Gimlet. It was really great to see him; I had not talked with the worldwide traveler
in four months. He must have been glad to see me for, as I was wide-open saying “Hello”,
he launched a pill into my mouth. Like lightening, he snapped a pill in half
and tossed it in my mouth before we ever shook hands. Even worse, I was forced
to swallow the tablet with several gallons of tequila.
Stu Gimlet’s eyes were as wide as silver dollars. I concluded that I would
be going there as well. The evening began to expand. It did little for the ritual
of purification and renewal.
year the Annual Ole Gung-Ho was rather short-lived, but earnest.
Its collapse was appropriate.
There is a dark cloud looming over Los Angeles, one that distresses
me greatly. The only escape is to bend some elbows. Every Angeleno
is fully within their rights to drive to their nearest BevMo and load up the
SUV. It is confirmed
that David Beckham the international soccer star, his Posh Spice wife and the
entire international tabloid press corps are moving to the City of The Angels.
There will be no
escaping the British Beckhams and their circus. They are going to cause traffic
jams and paparazzi fisticuffs. The press will headline every
detail. Their pictures will be everywhere. They are the King and Queen of tabloid
royalty. At least they try to dress well.
At 32, the glory
days of this soccer star are on the wane. I heard she has her hawk eye on an
Oscar. I can understand why they want to come to Los Angeles.
We are the Mount Everest of pop culture. Together, the Beckhams are a formidable,
well-financed team. Let’s hope they collect art.
is their friendship with the Tom Cruises. Now we will all have to endure the
bait, capture and salvation of the Beckhams.
We don’t need them. We have plenty of our own celebrities. Sure, the world
is getting smaller but we don’t need to adopt every Malawi orphan or every
superstar from every culture. Protectionism now! Where is La Migra
when you need them?
It was with my best intention to seek a New Year of light and love
on a higher plane. Instead, I found sputtering neon and pink
bubblegum on asphalt. As an
artist, I use all that is brought before me, both good and bad. Influences
are like family. You can’t choose them; you can only love them.
is a Los Angeles based artist. His visual and literary
works can be found at www.GordyGrundy.com