CHAPTER EIGHT

ASK THE BEAVER!

The light was low and warm in pop star Ali BeeDee's living room. Shelia Westwater was stretched out on the couch, her mind stretching even further. An old friend of Muks, she had helped arrange the Journey Through Time and Space, a ruse to gain entry into the apartment under the guise of a free gift certificate for a spiritual (and party-hearty hallucinogenic) journey. Muk, costumed as Indian Prince Pandor, and his guru crew had hit a dead end in their search for the missing jewelry. They had just tossed the K-Town flat and had come up short.

Muk turned to Blu who was dressed as an Indian servant boy and whispered, "Bring on the hounds!"

She eyed him quizzically, wondering how in the hell the dogs would possibly help their dire situation. She looked at Pedro and started to laugh.

Muk shrugged and whispered, "It's a long shot."

Blu headed out the front door, smiling.

Pedro was decked out like a harem guard. Muk placed his hand on Pedro's wide shoulder and looked him squarely in the eye. The gesture and long look said, 'I have thought about it from all angles and I have crossed many lines. I have made a decision.'

Muk leaned in close and whispered, "Let's juice her up."

Pedro left to prepare the syringe in Ali BeeDee's bedroom. Just then, Blu opened the front door and entered right behind the two busy Wire Fox Terriers. Muk snapped his fingers and crouched down on one knee. The dogs Nick and Nora assembled before him and sat attentive, with tails wagging. Muk pulled a photo from his breast pocket and unfolded it. He showed the dogs the picture of Ali BeeDee wearing the missing loot in a Freemani Jewelry ad. He pointed at the necklace, also making sure the dogs smelled the photo.

Blu laughed and covered her mouth to stifle it. This was beautiful and absurd.

Muk cleared his throat as he stood. He whispered into her ear, defending himself, "Maybe. Just maybe there is a scent, a trace of a smell. Cosima touched this photo and the jewelry. Maybe. I doubt it. But maybe..." It was hard to maintain authority when he knew how ridiculous it seemed.

Oddly, the dogs seemed to understand the assignment. Muk replaced the photo to his breast pocket. The dogs separated, each intent on their mission. Muk and Blu watched them circle madly and canvas the turf, busy, busy looking for a hint of a clue to follow. Tail's wagging. Go, go! Fast, fast. Find. Find.

With a smile, Blu resumed her search, focusing her attention on the fireplace. A loose brick might reveal a hidden cache...

In her bedroom, Ali BeeDee was floating somewhere near the New Age of Aquarius. The double dose of Aslan, a psychotropic, had placed her in a better world.

"How much?" asked Pedro. He was holding a syringe and a small bottle of sodium pentothal, the truth serum.

Muk scratched his head. "I dunno. Wikipedia said about a coupla..."

Pedro caught the joke and replied with an exaggerated double take.

Definitively, Muk said, "Twenty milliliters."

Pedro filled the syringe. He prepped Ali's arm with an alcohol swab and found a ripe vein. Pedro may have once been a certified EMT but he didn't look like one. He was wearing balloon pants and a crimson sash that held two bejeweled daggers.

Pedro broke skin and blood swirled in the syringe chamber. The plunger climaxed and thirty very long seconds later, Ali began to stir. Her heart rate increased. The barbiturate seized her inhibitions and shredded them. She remained unconscious, her eyes closed, but there was an awareness. She could communicate...

Muk jiggled her toe. He ditched the Pandorian accent and spoke with a fatherly authority. "Ali, sweet Ali, my child, what is your legal name?"

"Awww, it ain't really Ali," she said with a loopy giggle. Muk gave a thumbs-up. "My, my real name is June, Juney Cleaver." She drifted away with a laugh, "It's true. I swear..."

 "Your real name is June Cleaver? Like 'Leave it to Beaver' June Cleaver?" Muk wanted to laugh out loud.

"Yesh. My, my Mom was a st-stoner and she loved that show... Loved..." she reported happily.

The two men were laughing on the inside and trying to stifle it on the outside. Pop culture savvy Pedro nodded; the name was correct. Muk scratched his head. What a misnomer!

"June, June Cleaver," Prince Pandor intoned like a hypnotist, "Where are the earrings and the necklace?"

Ali waved the question away and turned her head.

Pedro suggested, "Ask the Beav!" Muk flipped him off and smiled.

"Ali, where do you keep your safety deposit box? What bank branch is your safety deposit box at?"

Flustered, Ali did not respond.

"Ali, what is in your safety deposit box?"

Confused, she replied, "I don't have one..."

Muk was disappointed. "Did you sell the necklace and the emerald earrings?"

"Naw."

"Did you give away the necklace? To someone?"

"Naw."

"Do you have a fence?"

"Nah, I live on the second floor."

"Did you keep the necklace?"

"Ew, No." An unpleasant thought crossed her brow. "And they owe me modeling money! I modeled. I did ads. Damn, damn that asshole Bobby!"

"Where are the necklace and the earrings?"

Ali was growing irritated, breathing faster. "I took 'em back. I walked in and gave them back! And that's that. Those assholes!"

Muk took a new tack. He spoke soothingly and lyrically. "Ali, think of the deep green of an emerald. Green. Forest green." Muk lowered his voice, "So many shades of deep, deep green..."

Ali slowed down and relaxed. She was thinking green.

Muk gave each word meaning, "Tiny. White. Sharp. Sparkly diamonds. All the little stars that surround each emerald. Green emerald."

Ali was clearly happy at the thought.

"A necklace of emerald and diamonds. They feel so heavy around your neck... A pair of earrings... So heavy... So much weight. Sad weight."

A dark cloud crossed Ali's sunny demeanor.

"Be free. Free of the unhappiness and the burden. The heavy burden. Be free of trouble... Where are the necklace and the earrings?"

"Gone!" Ali chirped, "Gone!" Her hands were fluttering, gladly shooing something away. "Gone. Away."

"Where Ali? Where?"

"Back! I gave them back." Ali was already moving onto happier thoughts. She had nothing else to say on the subject.

Pedro scratched his head. Muk shrugged, "Well. I guess that's that."

Look for the next exciting chapter of Emperor Muk!

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All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

© Gordy Grundy, All Rights Reserved

www.Gordy Grundy.com

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